Beginning of Shanghai

Knowing that I'm skipping ahead by not talking about Jiu Zhai Gou or my Three Gorges Damn cruise on the Yangtze River, but since I have not been able to find an internet cafe where I can upload pictures, I am just going to skip ahead. So this post is going to be entirely without pictures then.

When I first got to Shanghai, I got to say I was quite relieved. Immediately in PuDong airport (there are 2 main airports in Shanghai), I immediately got a waft of civilization. In the bathrooms in the airport, I felt a little like I was in Japan. The bathroom was relatively clean, and the hand dryers were the high-tech ones in Japan where they dry your hands in under a minute. Leaving, the airport, Lynn and I went to the Maglev train (the bullet train in Shanghai that goes 250 mph). I got to say that it was just fast. You could feel that the train was well-built and not a shady-made Chinese product. haha

Getting to the end of the train line, I met my uncle that I haven't met for a long time. He took us to dinner really fast on the subway line. Even the subway in Shanghai is better since they had more hand railings for people. The walk to the restaurant was pretty funny, since my uncle being about 86 was really funny since he kept repeating the same thing to himself. You could tell he was mentally sharp and physically good since he swims 1 mile everyday non-stop in 46 minutes, but just hearing him repeat things to himself was pretty funny. So at the restaurant, my uncle first asked me and Lynn to choose what to eat, but then when the waitress came over he just ordered for us. It was really funny when the waitress told my uncle they were out of one dish or another since my uncle always responded whether or not they get the dish from some other restaurant that they just bring over. haha

When we got to my grandma's house in Shanghai, I felt quite bad for Lynn since he had to sit through the whole talk we had her. To make things pretty straightforward, my grandmother has had Alzheimer's for I think about 2 years now. So naturally, when I met her, she had no idea who I was. Actually she sort of freaked out when she first saw me. She also had trouble remembering who her own son (my father) was. In turn, we basically spent about 1 hour at least in the late night trying to explain that I was not a bad person that was going to steal her stuff and that I was her grandson. So these 2 topics were mainly the only topics that we said for an hour to my grandmother since she kept forgetting, and us having to remind her. You know, I got to say I wasn't frustrated at all, since she was my family, and I could not even imagine what she was going through since even she admitted that she didn't remember a lot of things. Imagine, half of your life you couldn't remember, and you just have to rely on others to tell you about your life. After that long talk, we went upstairs into my room and went to sleep.

Overall, I thought that night was pretty emotional for me, in a sense. I mean, my grandmother couldn't even remember who I was, and I would have to repeat to her that I was her grandson every time I saw her. Everyday I try to remind her who I am and my name, but she keeps forgetting. On the bright side, she now doesn't think I am a bad person, and since I keep repeating the same thing over and over, I get to practice my Shanghainese with her. haha I think it's interesting that I'm actually not really sad about my grandmother's state. I don't mean that I am insensitive, but I from what I have been taught, the Lord always does things for a reason to help me grow and continue in my walk. And I just think that this is a challenge that I have been blessed with to cope with. So unlike my father, who I feel just avoids her, which I think is because he is sad that she has trouble even remembering him, I try to talk with her at least a couple minutes everyday. I mean I need to spend every possible minute with her as possible, and just maybe, maybe I could help her remember the memorable moments in her life.

Going back to the timeline of this post, the next day when we woke-up, I got up early and then ventured into the different rooms of the house. I first went to the one next door to my room, which was my late grandfather's. I sort of went through his things (closet and looked at pictures). I was quite touched by when I went there since one of the few pictures that my grandfather had there was one of me and him when I was a child in San Jose. Looking at his face, he was so happy. I got to say that this also brought up a lot of emotions. Going through this room made me realize how selfish I have been in my life. Both times when I came to Shanghai, I never really spent any time with my grandfather at all. I was always self-indulged in what I wanted. And this is just such a poor example of how selfish I have been in my life. I never really took advantage of the chances that were given to me in my life to spend time with my family. I have failed so many times in what the Lord has given me. And now I can only regret that I never took up these chances. This I feel is a really pivotal moment in my life, since I knowingly have always rushed through things, and made mistakes consequentially by doing so. And this is just something I need to cease doing. After this moment, I now have earnestly tried to improve myself by taking slower, casual walks in Shanghai and taking in the scenery. I got to say that this is quite hard in China since everyone is always in such a rush, but it's just another way of separating myself into the Lord's grace. Overall though, I am not sad that my grandfather has passed away without me knowing him. As Pastor Patrick had said in one of his sermons, people should not be sad that their loved ones have passed away since you know that they have moved on into a better life in the Lord's light. It is with this thought, that I feel I have learned so much in my couple days in China.

And from this, I can only feel some notions of hatred at my dad's side of the family for never really taking any care of my grandparents. My uncles have all moved away from this house which they all lived in and stayed in there spheres in the U.S. They both keep saying how they want to come back to China, but I feel that their main reasons is to just visit China, and not my grandmother. And my cousins I feel have succumbed to the heavy pressures of American society in taking care of only themselves. I don't think many people realize how us Americans are actually so self-indulged into ourselves. We say that we take pride in helping each other, but one must also take note in how it is actually a sort of expected obligation that one's parents are supposed to live with you once they grow old so that you could take care of them. Not just throw them in a retirement home. I feel that this is a major flaw in our American society. I don't feel that my father is a good person, but at least he did something right by going against the American government by coming to China to take care of my father's funeral immediately, while also defying the U.S. government's clear intentions to prevent this due to his security clearance. I mean his boss even tried to get him fired for going to China. I just feel that this is something that us Americans fail, in which we take pride in our family values that I feel are extremely lacking. I can only hope that my experience can teach others and prevent such precarious and detrimental activities in other people's lives.

So now on to the bright side of this trip. I got to say that I really do love Shanghai. The city I feel is nothing like any other part of China. People are more cultured here. The streets are clean; I mean they have public bathrooms scattered throughout the city. I think I have only seen 2 people pee on the streets, which I thought was since these people are not really shanghainese. And when I heard in Beijing that people in Shanghai are rude, I don't think this is true. People are just busy and go on to their own business. If you see someone that is quite idle, such as the street guards that actually manage the flow of traffic in the city, they will kindly direct you to wherever you want to go. And the food is a LOT better. A $3 dinner here I feel can easily be comparable to the $80 dinner I had in Beijing. I got to say thought that the city definitely is not that large land-wise, but it is large since they really do know how to build up. There's skyscrapers everywhere and the skyline in the night is just beautiful. I'll post some pictures later on when I probably go back to the U.S. since I can't load up my pictures here.

Oh, so there were some funny moment in Shanghai though. I got to see half of a rear bumper of a decent taxi car get ripped off by a bus when it tried to cut in front of it. Oh and I got to see Lynn get seriously hurt at the subway station. So you have to insert a card into the machine to go through one of those revolving gate thingies that just let one person through with each admittance. So he put his in, and it rejected it, but Lynn didn't notice. So Lynn unwittingly swung into the gate and got hurt. I wish I had my camera with me since his face suddenly changed from one full of accomplishment to one of pain. hahahahahahhahaa Oh my goodness, I can just replay that moment in my life a couple of times and just laugh about it again. hahahahhahahahahahaha

The only word of caution I can give about the city is be careful about giving money to beggars. I got to see first hand how a woman purposely dressed herself up as a poor lady that was pregnant with no money, and then the pillows fell out of her dress. It's like, "you gave birth to pillows!" haha So I feel that this is something that Shanghai still has to work on since you can't knowingly give to the poor since there's always that fear that you're just giving money to a con-artist. I would gladly give money to the poor; I mean I would like to again give another 100 RMB (~$13) to a poor person, but I do feel wary about doing so now.

Overall, I got to say that the trip was quite pleasant, and I myself have grown a lot. I do feel that I have been blessed with this chance to grow, and I can only hope that I would be given the chance to actually come back to Shanghai next year. I know; I actually want to come back to China in some sort of way. Definitely different from when I was in Beijing. haha